Saturday Writing Essential 12/29/2012--Poem--Withdraw'l......

Withdraw’l—retract yourself from me, Regress       

            Ere sprouted this abhorred seed,

            Which elected me object of thine infections.

            I will myself to thence deliver thee!

            But soft, can’t I appoint this old address?

            Or head a letter with‘t on the parchment penn’d,

            And think rightly to the spot I intend ‘twill go?

            Nay, ‘tis too uncertain to trust flatly.

             Once laps’d my taking that I soon

            To bratty illness took. As flesh from flesh

            To flesh; mine from it to this: some viscous gels

            From rancid pores doth lap at me, o’er-gloss

            My soft complexion with slimey gallons

             Fluid appalling as plagues,

            And like Poison Ivy,

            It twists itself about my skin— I’m squeez’d—

            As tight as ties tween sin and vice it clings

            And stains my visage pale and green—withdraw!

 Living in depression, constant dwelling, hatred, and self pity. I can't stop it, I need it to remind me of my imperfections. I keep it close. It is the suffering of a temptation you have bathed in, to the point of addiction. The pain from the awareness and guilt, weakness leading you right back where you first swore you'd never return then continuously re-living your nightmares. Why is the temptation to hate so addicting? This year, I will stop dwelling in my past, hold my head high, and take deep breathes..I can't live in constant fear of making mistakes. One step at a time...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!